I Need A Breather

Situated in the back room, Surrounded by casted revolving shadows Sitting on the geometric,  albeit roughly lined, printed booth seats. A clear view through the draped curtains, I can look straight ahead Through the flower printed fabrics. I can see myself  Within the unicorn tapestry. The humble star of the stage Accompanied by the source of the swing. Allowing the ride cymbals To drive my foot taps and head nods Into a meeting point where my shoulders sway.  Feeling my body being pushed  By the keys on the winds, The heads of the sticks, with Pulses from the plucks of the bass. The sensuality of smelling Roasted coffee and beer While I twist and turn my hips, Stank lipped. With a sobreity  I find easily as of late, As I seek a stage Fitting yet obscure That can allow such cadence To accompany The unicorn in the tapestry.  -Verdure

As a kid, I had a captured turtle named Oliver. Same as the ones in the koi pond. Ollie was a bit smaller.  And Ollie had no companions, Besides the mosquitoes. So we returned Ollie to the lake. The murky, neglected park lake. Where Ollie had never been before. I wish it had been this pond. With ripples alluringly soft, I may melt into the surface if I touch. Where the fake Ollies get to bask in a peaceful Sun. With a caressing breeze, On a day where Spring teases its joys. That makes me envy the little sun bathers. And sad for the captured Oliver. As I am sitting here, Fighting back tears, In a place I can only describe, And not feel. -Verdure 

I have been searching  For a proper footing  That could hold  The whole weight of me. With a wall adjoined  That would embrace me. For I have mistaken  Where I placed my feet When I found myself  Aimlessly looking before. Maybe it’s the cold That has me confused. Mixed finely  With my ambition, Fear, Love, Or nothing at all. Leaving me looking  At stars in my eyes. Looking down at my hands, Ensuring their existence, Since I fail to gauge The importance  Of accomplishments. While I know A simple breeze  Makes me look up  At the blue hues   And weep. My seasons of living Always involve a moment of  Finding. Here again. I am no fool. I am not lost. -Verdure 

I was called. You yelled.  What I was going to dismiss, but  I saw what You said, so I swallowed all my sentiments. Leaving them for when it was quiet Enough to recall my nights. Nights of contempt Leading to this moment Of definite decision. I felt seen. Stripped from my sheets  Unwashed from my cold That cleanse me And soiled my belief. I’ve been here before. On the outside of ablate Constraints. Where I treaded In my faith’s remains  Leaving me in a mass  Of disarray. The dark shadows of my eyes Telling of the time I spent To arrive here. I ask God Why His people respond To my tears with a sneer, As I Hold tight on the life I have to give. I refuse to push onto those who live When I have grown to become Who I am outside of what the Word  Counts as His. I pray for my walks, But don’t pray for the sinners. Why would a God make it this hard, For a walk with Him?  So I think of my roots, Going wherever they lay, I look unto the moon To express my grace....

The innate fear that comes from this. Complimenting the airy light feels that are, just as composed,  Easily, sucked from existence. Humility taking place. Politely replacing my screams. Quietly escorting them Into the bottom of my throat. Next to the charm That was dangled above my eyes. Ultimately swallowed. Winding up no further than Where my esteem for you  Has stayed full. While my devotion seeps From every part of me. Reaching you  Every few times we touch. With the softness of our voices Being the blanket to our hearts. Coddling our steps. Softening our kisses Until desire disrupts With no rebuts. We wish to be Opposites of the world. In different spaces Yet to be named. The innate fear of it all. The eternal beauty of you. While I hold the frame.  -Verdure

Weighted. Tug-a-heart. The sun pulls me in To an unknown end. Continuously, Spitting me out unto Tomorrow. Where the roots of me Continue to rest Until I can’t be pulled Any longer. Predictable. Are the parts that  Make life inexplicable, And my heart heavy. I stutter what I know While standing tall before  The levee of things I don’t. I never will. Comfort. Through this standoff, Resulting in retreat, Into the uneasiness Within me. Solely. Living in a tide  Alongside all things alive. Starting tomorrow reeling. Reaching out from my roots. Letting the world feel me. -Verdure 

Started the day watching. Listening. Warily. So beautiful. Starting anew, Resulting in endless gratitude The closest I've been to flying. Through our gazes, Movement, Smiles... A new day Full of longing. Another heartstring yanked. Sometimes with a gentle pull. Another day further from  the me before you.  A new day has passed. Having trekked through  the hidden fears. I welcome the tears that fall alongside the fall of my  Prior years of ideals And facades. Ending up in the still. Happily yours. -Verdure