I Need A Breather

I have been searching  For a proper footing  That could hold  The whole weight of me. With a wall adjoined  That would embrace me. For I have mistaken  Where I placed my feet When I found myself  Aimlessly looking before. Maybe it’s the cold That has me confused. Mixed finely  With my ambition, Fear, Love, Or nothing at all. Leaving me looking  At stars in my eyes. Looking down at my hands, Ensuring their existence, Since I fail to gauge The importance  Of accomplishments. While I know A simple breeze  Makes me look up  At the blue hues   And weep. My seasons of living Always involve a moment of  Finding. Here again. I am no fool. I am not lost. -Verdure 

I was called. You yelled.  What I was going to dismiss, but  I saw what You said, so I swallowed all my sentiments. Leaving them for when it was quiet Enough to recall my nights. Nights of contempt Leading to this moment Of definite decision. I felt seen. Stripped from my sheets  Unwashed from my cold That cleanse me And soiled my belief. I’ve been here before. On the outside of ablate Constraints. Where I treaded In my faith’s remains  Leaving me in a mass  Of disarray. The dark shadows of my eyes Telling of the time I spent To arrive here. I ask God Why His people respond To my tears with a sneer, As I Hold tight on the life I have to give. I refuse to push onto those who live When I have grown to become Who I am outside of what the Word  Counts as His. I pray for my walks, But don’t pray for the sinners. Why would a God make it this hard, For a walk with Him?  So I think of my roots, Going wherever they lay, I look unto the moon To express my grace....

The innate fear that comes from this. Complimenting the airy light feels that are, just as composed,  Easily, sucked from existence. Humility taking place. Politely replacing my screams. Quietly escorting them Into the bottom of my throat. Next to the charm That was dangled above my eyes. Ultimately swallowed. Winding up no further than Where my esteem for you  Has stayed full. While my devotion seeps From every part of me. Reaching you  Every few times we touch. With the softness of our voices Being the blanket to our hearts. Coddling our steps. Softening our kisses Until desire disrupts With no rebuts. We wish to be Opposites of the world. In different spaces Yet to be named. The innate fear of it all. The eternal beauty of you. While I hold the frame.  -Verdure

Weighted. Tug-a-heart. The sun pulls me in To an unknown end. Continuously, Spitting me out unto Tomorrow. Where the roots of me Continue to rest Until I can’t be pulled Any longer. Predictable. Are the parts that  Make life inexplicable, And my heart heavy. I stutter what I know While standing tall before  The levee of things I don’t. I never will. Comfort. Through this standoff, Resulting in retreat, Into the uneasiness Within me. Solely. Living in a tide  Alongside all things alive. Starting tomorrow reeling. Reaching out from my roots. Letting the world feel me. -Verdure 

Black beads on my arm Black ball on my pointer Black moles on my face Black sweater off the shoulder Black hairs on my legs Black locs lay on my breasts And on my black skin The light reflects warm My browns blend seamlessly Making its way into my eyes A frequency of beauty Accompanied by your face Within the black you reside Underneath the lowered lace Of my black lashes  Where your brown eyes meet mine The day ending with My black shadow inside Where everything is alright -Verdure  

Steady now. The rain can only get as loud as the amount that was held. A stillness doesn't guarantee no tears will fall. Teetering between a causeway, and a dam. Steering myself to keep the upper hand. On myself. A clearing that's faulty. My lenses collect sand. Steady now. Be easy, how? I dropped so much  along this condemned bridge. The tears have fallen. My right leg still bounces. With everything going seemingly well. While holding living hands. That never seemed to fit. Which is when I start to tilt. Steady now. Steady. -Verdure

The waterfall makes pebbles. Except they don't sink. The Koi orange and yellow, Like the fallen leaves, And the water pebbles, Are all floating still, but free. To have warmth, only water can feel. With the ripples of water spreading the warmth Like a web. It isn't until the wind arrives, 'Til the clouds darken the sky,  And a tattered leaf falls into my lap That I realize.  To be felt is to be alive.  -Verdure