Amen

I was called.

You yelled. 

What I was going to dismiss, but 

I saw what You said, so

I swallowed all my sentiments.

Leaving them for when it was quiet

Enough to recall my nights.

Nights of contempt

Leading to this moment

Of definite decision.

I felt seen.

Stripped from my sheets 

Unwashed from my cold

That cleanse me

And soiled my belief.

I’ve been here before.

On the outside of ablate

Constraints.

Where I treaded

In my faith’s remains 

Leaving me in a mass 

Of disarray.

The dark shadows of my eyes

Telling of the time I spent

To arrive here.

I ask God

Why His people respond

To my tears with a sneer,

As I

Hold tight on the life I have to give.

I refuse to push onto those who live

When I have grown to become

Who I am outside of what the Word 

Counts as His.

I pray for my walks,

But don’t pray for the sinners.

Why would a God make it this hard,

For a walk with Him? 

So I think of my roots,

Going wherever they lay,

I look unto the moon

To express my grace.

The beauty of all that was created,

yet I am fated to this tragedy.

Grief behooves me,

Welcoming me into a space

Where my love is second to my

Damning.

Defined by profanities,

Only for us to own, 

And a soul to claim.

This is the space that made me,

Through Jesus name.

-Verdure